In Hot Water: Tuanzebe Joins the Ranks of Football’s Most Bizarre Injuries

A torn ACL, a concussion, and a torn hamstring: Injuries are part and parcel of sport and particularly football, where the rigours and demands push the human body to breaking point. Normally, when a footballer is relaxing at home, they are in a safe space – free of the dangers of a season-ending, or career-threatening, injury. And yet, so often find themselves hurting themselves in the most mundane or bizarre ways.

Axel Tuanzebe

Axel Tuanzebe
Ardfern / Wikipedia.org

Ipswich Town defender, Axel Tuanzebe, is the latest member of that particular rogue’s gallery. The 26-year-old was doing the washing up – even Premier League stars have chores – when a glass smashed and cut his hand. In fact, we perhaps shouldn’t be joking about it, as the damage caused was so severe that Tuanzebe almost lost his thumb – it was only the emergency work of surgeons that was able to save the digit.

Tuanzebe, who remarkably once broke the world record for the fastest game of Hungry Hippos, is now expected to face a significant amount of time on the sidelines nursing his injury. The pain in his thumb will subside in time. But the red-faced nature of how he suffered his injury will no doubt cause Tuanzebe mild discomfort for years to come. What an ideal time to engage in some more schadenfreude by rounding up a hall of fame of football’s most bizarre injuries.

Shinji Kagawa

Shinji Kagawa
Кагава Синдзи / Wikipedia.org

We’ve all been there. It’s the perfect storm: you’re already hungry – ravenous, in fact – when the decision is taken to order a takeaway. What do you do? You order way too much food, but try and eat it all anyway.

Former Manchester United star, Shinji Kagawa, took that vibe to a whole new level in 2013; the Japanese winger ate so much food he had to have his stomach pumped! So severe was Kagawa’s stuffing that he was forced to miss a Premier League game against Newcastle United while he recovered from the after-effects of the emergency procedure.

Rio Ferdinand

Rio Ferdinand
Web Summit / Flickr.com

Have you ever found yourself in a position that’s so comfortable on the sofa, or you’ve gotten stuck into a three-hour film like The Godfather, that you simply haven’t moved for hours? Rio Ferdinand was struck down by a case of the comfies in 2001. The then Leeds United defender had settled down for a session on the premier football video game of the time, Pro Evolution Soccer.

The problem is that Ferdinand got so comfortable – or so engrossed in his game – that he didn’t move for hours, causing his muscles to tighten and his joints to seize up. You can probably guess the rest. Ferdinand somehow managed to strain tendons in his knee after having his foot up on a coffee table for two long – he was out of action for two games following his ordeal.

Dave Beasant

Dave Beasant
Holdenbuckley / Wikipedia.org

Footballers juggling a ball with their feet is par for the course, but a glass jar of salad cream? Dave Beasant, the FA Cup winning goalkeeper with Wimbledon, learned the hard way that some condiments are simply too heavy to be showing off your technique with.

But the normally-reliable shot stopper showed that he did drop things on occasion; said bottle of salad cream. Trying to stop it from smashing on the floor, Beasant instinctively stuck out his foot in a bid to cushion the condiment’s fall – but was left with a broken toe and torn tendons for his troubles.

Kirk Broadfoot

Kirk Broadfoot
Jonesy702 / Wikipedia.org

The former Rangers defender had egg on his face – quite literally – when he became embroiled in a dining disaster back in 2009. Broadfoot was poaching two eggs in his microwave, stooping down to take a closer look to see if they were ready or not.

But he was unfortunately the victim of an egg explosion, which caused piping hot water to hit the Scot in the face. Broadfoot suffered semi-serious burns in the incident, which forced him to seek treatment at a local Glasgow hospital. However, the plot has since thickened – Broadfoot claiming in an interview with The Scottish Sun that a hospital employee had eggs-aggerated the truth.

Ever Banega

Ever Banega
Maxisports / Bigstockphoto.com

Ever Banega won 65 caps for Argentina in a stellar playing career that saw him win an Olympic gold medal for his country and the Europa League with Sevilla. The quality of his midfield play cannot be brought into question. But his diligence at the petrol station? That could use some work.

Banega stopped off to fill up his car back in 2012. Unfortunately, he had forgotten to put on the handbrake, and was mortified to watch on as his vehicle rolled backwards and ran him over. Worst still was the injury suffered: Banega fractured the tibia and fibula of his left leg, and after undergoing surgery he missed more than six months of football.

Michael Stensgaard

With Tuanzebe’s horror injury matched by a similarly bizarre ailment suffered by former Liverpool goalkeeper, Michael Stensgaard, perhaps footballers are best advised not to get too involved in household chores.

In fairness to Stensgaard, he wanted to do a spot of ironing. Unfortunately, he didn’t know how to set up the ironing board. During his tussle with the inanimate object, the Dane somehow managed to dislocate his shoulder. Some people will do anything to get out of a bit of housework!

Kasey Keller

Kasey Keller
Borusse86 / de.wikipedia.org

What is it with goalkeepers, inanimate objects and serious injuries? American shot stopper, Kasey Keller, like many footballers, enjoys a spot of golf in his downtime. After driving to his local course, the former Leicester City goalkeeper parked his car and went to the boot to retrieve his clubs.

But Keller, and only he can explain how, somehow hit himself in the face with his bag – and one of the clubs protruding out of the top knocked out both of his front teeth.